Monday, 19 August 2013
Sunday, 4 August 2013
The other morning I got up early. Not just a little bit early but really, really early! I wanted to try and get to the gym when it opened at 5am. I was successful and pretty chuffed with myself. However whoever was supposed to open the said gym at 5am had not got up really, really early and so the place was clothed in darkness with only some sleepy eyed gym addicts waiting patiently in their reeboks outside the front door. I waited with them for five, then ten, then fifteen minutes. Still that gym employee must have slumbered on and I started to feel cross. Why had I bothered? I could have stayed snuggled up warm and cosy in my bed. It was pretty cold that morning! I looked to the sky and saw a sliver of pink streaking itself across the ebony and knew that daybreak was nearby ready to do her shift. I decided at that moment to head towards the beach for a run. I was in my gym kit, up and awake so why not? I don't particularly like running but hey I am doing Tough Mudder in a couple of weeks and the Sunshine Coast 10k for charity. I need to get in some k's on the tarmac! Well I ended up down at Golden Beach and all was still and dark. Hardly a soul was around and it was a little nerve racking running along alone but as I did the sky slowly awoke with the most amazing colours to lead me along the coastal path and encourage me on my way. It was so very much worth the effort and with Mumford and Sons in my ears and a backdrop of utter breathtaking beauty who could ever hold it against that slumbering gym employee? Not me! I experienced euphoria that morning thanks to them! My cloud sure had a silver lining with the sunrise that I witnessed. Nature never fails to deliver and another lesson for me in that just because our plans don't go as planned does not mean that whatever else comes up won't be as good, if not better than what we had in mind.
On the 17th July 1995 on a bright sunlit morning my world changed forever. My beautiful indigo boy came into my life and so very much richer it has been since. He has taught me the real meaning of unconditional love, acceptance of difference and the beauty within. He has lived his 18 years of life with zest, humour, compassion and forgiveness to those who have not always treated him with kindness. He is true to himself, brave and honest and I am so very blessed that he chose me to be his Mum. I love him to infinity and beyond and my wish for him is that he has a life as blessed as mine has been having him in my world.
One wonderful thing for me about homeschooling is being able to follow our passions. Poppy seems to have a passion for music and most days she is found playing something on her keyboard, guitar or any other musical instrument she can find! I love that she can do this and does not have a set time when we can fit it in. If she is happy playing music all day then that is fine with me. It does not often happen though as we are busy doing a multitude of other things but I love that the option is there if she wants.
A different journey began for me on the day I was born when I was whisked away from my birth mother quicker than a first cry could bellow from my lungs. I was put in a children’s home for the first six months of my life and so those two seasons for me are lost forever. I have no photo album of my existence. All I know is that it was High Summer through Autumn, creeping into Winter before I was found. Held in a portal of time that I just cannot quite reach. I will never know who looked after me, who cherished me (if indeed anyone did) or whether I was left to cry alone and I really don’t like having that empty void. However, the void is worth it for the gift that came to fill its place. A gift that has totally shaped the person I am in so many ways and gives many explanations for my beliefs today. That gift was the person who eventually did find me. The one who was always meant to be. My adoptive Mum. She was the moon and stars in my night and the sun in my day. She was everything to me. She rescued me and was the best person that I could ever have hoped for in my life. That is why losing her 19 years ago was the biggest loss I have ever known. I have often wondered why I am the way that I am with such strong beliefs and always fighting for the underdog. Well my unassuming Mum set a foundation for me in the way she lived her own life. She cared. She cared enough to give up the gift of birthing her own children to be the Mother of two children who could not be cared for by their own birth mothers. She was the woman who only ever took in unwanted and abandoned animals. She was the woman who stood alone before the bulldozers who threatened to rip up beautiful old trees to build luxury homes and she cried deeply when she could not save them. She was the woman who laid the table every night for us to sit at as a family in the morning together and have breakfast and she did the same again for our evening meal. She was the woman who was always there to wave me off in the morning and welcome me back when I returned home. She was the woman who kissed away my hurts, listened to my woes and advised me when I needed it. She was the woman who fought with all her might to beat the illness that eventually took her from us and she did so with courage, bravery and humour. My Mum was smiling to the last. She was bravery at its bravest. I see her now sitting on the edge of her bed telling me she needed to go but still smiling and telling me that the world was a good place and that we would meet again. She was right. I meet her every single day in the multitude of memories I have of her and I thank her with every fibre of my being for choosing me. I miss her as much today as I did the day she died but I know how much I am blessed having had her in my life for the time that I did and she lives on in me and in my children in the way we live our lives - forever in my heart and full of blessings for having had her on such an important part of my journey.